For as long as I can remember people have been sharing heartfelt quotes and motivating messages on social media. Most of these words take on a note formation: upholding a promoting positivity to anyone who maybe feeling a sense of depletion and negativity in general. The majority of these messages revolve around the themes of encouraging people to aim toward achieving their dream/s regardless of obstacles which may barrier them from achieving their goals, body confidence and anything regarding mental health.
One so called words of wisdom which repeatedly stands out to me, are phrases along the lines of ‘to be loved you need to love yourself first’. Evidently however exactly such sentences are structured does it imply that a person can’t be loved if they aren’t satisfied with themselves?
I remember reading quotes like these as a teenager on a regular basis; the more frequently I saw these I gradually was becoming inclined to believing such statements. I involuntarily became anxious that I was never going to find the love of my life because no matter how hard I tried, no matter how often I pushed the thoughts to the back of my mind I couldn’t love myself.
The reason why I chose to write about this subject today is because I want to make it absolutely clear to anyone who is having or has had conflicts with themselves concerning self-confidence, self-worth and self-esteem that said ‘inspirational’ words such as those mentioned are totally and undeniably false.
Some people will spend the best part of there life trying to discover themselves and be happy with who they identify themselves as. Finally loving yourself for who or how you are doesn’t happen overnight nor does it have an ‘achieve by’ date or age. There are countless men and women in this world who are in love with each other who don’t necessarily love themselves as an individual. There’s not an order as to which comes first: loving yourself and loving another.
On a personal level, which I hope you can appreciate that I don’t wish to express in detail as of yet, the relationship I have with my partner is proof that you can be loved regardless of not loving you for you, yet. There was a time when I despised myself; I no longer have that self-hatred but I’m still on the journey to loving myself. Love from another can aid you on your path to loving yourself, although essentially it is a personal hindrance which an individual needs to overcome for themselves, just not entirely by themselves.
On a final note I urge everyone reading this to reflect before sharing a quote or message which is intended to help people; it may seem like wise words but when something isn’t as simple to reach as easily as reading the words a person can end up feeling even lower than prior to gazing at your words.