I highly doubt that any of my regular readers noticed my absence for simplyemsblog; with this in mind a so called “life update” post isn’t essential but I shall proceed regardless. So… where have I been? Well thankfully this time round I haven’t spiraled into a seemingly never ceasing faze of depression or come to the decision to retract away from blogging. Simply to state I have been rather concentrated on myself and the general daily goings-on of life abroad.
Belatedly I was watching a popular YouTuber’s vlogs consisting of a lengthy decision about new year’s resolutions/goals. One thing in which she empathised was how she wanted to be more self-centred throughout 2018. A large percentage of people – usually those who aren’t selfish at all or who maintain a reasonable amount of selfishness – do not condone behaviour which allows someone to be the centre of attention or of up most importance. Said individual projected me into a state of self-realisation: I’m not selfish enough.
My entire life, with the exception of a few vivid odd occasions, I have put other people’s needs/wants and requests as a priority above my own. I have been overly concerned about disappointing people in addition to being anxious about how others perceive me: this has often resulted in countless instances when I have been left feeling uncomfortable, taken advantage of or rarely got what I wanted in life.
As much as I get more happiness out of seeing other people satisfied than when I achieve what I please, I need to start putting myself as numbero uno. By no means does this imply that I will act like a diva: throwing orders to people left, right and centre. In other words I need to speak up for myself in order to voice my opinions, saying “no” is perfectly acceptable. Furthermore I have every right to treat myself without feeling guilty or a trace of hesitation – during my time away from blogging I have had this in mind.
Aside from delving into deep thoughts, my life is gradually changing for the better. I now give private English tutoring lessons and have adopted a Siamese cat named Haru; who is Aki’s new best pal. I continue to thoroughly enjoy writing passionately about a given subject plus casually relaying accounts in relevance to my lifestyle, so I will attempt to update my blog as frequently as possible. Besides, my dream has persistently been to publish a book someday…